i was looking at swimsuits yesterday at old navy and i found the cutest suit. it ended up being a 1X that was on an XL hanger but it fit so well that i honestly didn't care. it's still a little big through the back, since my bust is more like 42" at the fullest point, not 43.5" but it's a halter, so it'll stay up. i actually think it looks better on me than it does on the mannequin on the site... but maybe that's just me. here's the suit: clickity-click. i'll have to show you a photo of me so that an unbiased decision can be made. :) i love the suit. and even if i lose some weight, which i still would love to do, this suit will take me through the summer at least, when i won't see a ton of progress immediately, you know?
last night i exercised on the bike. i did the program i usually plug in, plus some more. i went eight miles, burned somewhere around 400 calories and didn't lower the intensity once, even though it got pretty rough there in the middle at resistance number nine. phew!
i'm trying to increase my water intake since the hotter weather has arrived and with this excess body weight, i sweat quite a bit more than i feel comfortable with! anywhos... i'm up a bit in weight but i'm going to combat that within the week by exercising five days this week and eating mindfully.

CW: 185

stressing out

at a standstill, an impasse, in nearly every part of my life. it's completely frustrating. i really need support and about all after being under the weather (and recovering quite nicely, thank you), i've recently been stressing out over the prospects of getting a salaried form of employment next year. i feel like i'mi'm getting is threats and general rudeness. for those of you who have said, "i'm sure something will work out," thank you for your encouragement.
it's rough because i feel the doors closing in my face, even though it's just people not calling me back. i'm showing interest and doing as much as i can but it doesn't seem to be enough. maybe i should just apply to a school down south... it seems like i might need a break from everyone here, though that was my original reason for not wanting to leave.

CW: 183