i've been incredibly busy since my last post... having two jobs and being in a show was definitely a struggle but i've found i can do anything temporarily, regardless of how much it takes out of me physically.
subbing was an amazing experience. i'm so thankful to have had the opportunity, since it had been awhile since I had last taught. i miss the kids already. it was my choice to teach the middle grades, and i love them, regardless of how difficult others may find the age group. it's a tough age but that's where i feel that i fit best. i hope to keep in contact with the principal and perhaps secure another assignment soon.
i've been having a great time working on 'beauty & the beast' for hamilton rotary as well though. i'm so glad i decided to audition. the experience is opening up my eyes to a new group of people and talents that were laying dormant within me that i feel i can no longer suppress.
my friends have been incredibly supportive with my musical and theatrical interests, as always. they enjoy indulging me by going to bars that offer karaoke on the weekends, even though some nights i'm the only one from the group that sings on-stage. as long as there's alcohol, they are SO there. :) they're super-excited to come see 'beauty & the beast', my first show since college.
my mom is giving me hell about driving over to hamilton three or four nights a week for rehearsal, since it's something for which i'm not being paid... but i think it's a necessary release for me to have in my life. plus, there are more expensive hobbies to be involved in (see 'knitting' and 'sewing'... lol).
i was never this invested in theatre before, so she's not really used to this. even though the desire was there, the confidence in my abilities was not. heck, it still may not be quite there, but i'm slowly crawling out from inside my hermit-crab shell. after receiving so much sincere encouragement in recent years, i don't think i need to be afraid anymore.
i remember my first time on-stage -- it's one of my clearest, earliest memories. i was three years old performing in a dance recital. you know, the ballet class where the girls basically just mimic the movements of their teacher, eyes glued to the orchestra pit. i don't know if i did a good job while on-stage, but i do remember the excitement before going out there, the backstage lights, the primping, the waiting-in-the-wings, the anticipation. when i got out there, i was blinded by the stage lights, and i anxiously squinted through them for my parents in the crowd, hoping that by making eye-contact with them, i could confirm that they were really watching me.
i relish the chance to be up on stage, even though it scares me witless sometimes. it's nice to feel an adrenaline rush, a good stress, as opposed to that of the daily grind. it's nice to show people something that i keep hidden most of the time.
as with all things in life, this is an experiment. the results are looking good so far and i'm happy with my progress. i'm so excited about what's to come!
